If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just high enough for therapy.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
