It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize