she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
