I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
