I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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