i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
