Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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