Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
