I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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