Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
