like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
