My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
