i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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