I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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