eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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