there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
