i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
