you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
This toilet bowl is my home.
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