Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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