I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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