I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
