ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
