I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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