Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I need to calm my uterus...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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