god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize