Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
