woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
