I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
