Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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