So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
