Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
