I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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