is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
