I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
pray to the hookup gods
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
