he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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