If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I am one with the molecules
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
