So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize