his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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