i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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