I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she looked like the before picture.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
