upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
