So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
