he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
