google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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