its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
