I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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