I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
