i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
