Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
