Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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