Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
MIDGETS
????
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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