i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
