i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
