i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
