We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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