fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
