His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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