is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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