its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The uberlube is also flammable
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
