I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
