Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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