I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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