proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
