I am puke
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
