omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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