Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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