Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
